Humor

Five Ways the iWatch Will Revolutionize Education

After careful examination of features and uses of the iWatch, I think I have finally settled on the Top 5 Ways it will revolutionize education as we know it.

5) Increased Assessment of Boredom Cessation

Wristwatches seem to have disappeared since the rise of the Smartphone. Sure you can check the time on your phone, but how easy is that when you are in the front row of a lecture and your teacher or professor will confiscate your phone if you get caught taking it out? When someone starts boring you to sleep with DPPSR (Death by PowerPoint Slide Reading), the only way to combat that is with an accurate idea of how long you have to force yourself to stay awake. Having a watch again will give millions of students the tools to know how long to pinch themselves to stay awake and earn participation credit.

4) Better Indications of Social Stratification

We all know that we judge each other by our smartphone choice (Apple or Android). A few years ago, that was easy to do by size, even with phone cases covering the logo. But since Apple introduced their new face-sized pones, it is near impossible to know who is as cool as you are. With advent of the iWatch, you can now simply look at someone’s wrist to see if they are Apple or Android. Young Adult Clique Formation is the foundation of the high school and college experience, and the iWatch finally will help with split second social interaction decisions.

3) Historical Connections With Ancient Stylistic Conventions

One of the best trends that didn’t make it out of the 80s was the Swatch Watch. For those that weren’t around for this trend, you actually spent all of your money buying different color wrist bands and watch guards (yep, that was a thing way before Smartphones) so that you could switch them out daily (to match your Jams shorts). It was so popular that it burned out after a year and no watch maker has wanted to try and replicate it’s awesomeness for some odd reason. Now, of course, we can finally re-live history with the iWatch and its endless arrays of interchangeable bands and UIs. iWatch owners will be walking history connections.

2) Time Management Solutions Through Phantom Signal Claims

Do you lament the days when you could get out of any situation or conversation by pretending your phone vibrated because no one knew much about smartphones? We now know the sound of a buzzing phone, but it was great for time management when smartphones were new and mysterious. The iWatch will be able to bring back that mystery in many ways, since few will know much about them at the beginning. Just think of how much more control you can wrestle away from pointless conversations by claiming your watch is sending you all kinds of messages.

1) Advanced Creative Grade Enhancement Methodology 

Cheating is such an ugly and outmoded word. Everyone knows that today’s students need to partake in creative grade enhancement. Remember how easy that was when smartphones first came out and teachers or professors had no clue you could get answers right on your phone? Those days have been long gone due to instructors quickly catching on, but now with the iWatch they are back. Just store the answers on your iWatch a head of time and make it look like you just have a nervous habit of tapping your watch. This will increase your grades, and we all know that increased grades on test proves that more learning is happening. If instructors never cared that you might have randomly guessed some answers correct on multiple choice tests, then surely they don’t care about other forms of creative grade enhancement. As long as the school’s test numbers look good, everyone wins.

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edugeek-journal-avatarI am sure there are many other great sounding reasons why the iWatch will revolutionize education. The iPhone and iPad have already made modern education almost unrecognizable from what it was before they came out, so the iWatch is sure to keep that tradition alive. I just can’t wait until we get the iOcculus in 2017 and then the iNeuralImpant in 2019 – we will just be injecting information straight into the eyes and brains! Just more proof that technology is the solution for all of Education’s woes.

Active Learning Without Even Trying!

Just a brief break from the Open Learning Structure series to quote an actual promotional blurb from Blackboard:

“Ever wish you could engage your learners more without even trying?”

Yes – it actually says that. Call me old fashioned, but I remember the days when “engagement” by default meant you had to try or it just wasn’t actually engagement. But I guess the goal is a newfangled kind of learning where the instructor doesn’t even try.

Sounds good to me – collect a paycheck without lifting a finger! We can automate this whole process it seems.

 

More Useless 2012 Predictions

  • Everything from email to libraries to blogs to universities will be declared dead. Again. For the 10th year in a row.
  • People will continue to call for educational reform. Ignoring, of course, the fact that education is constantly reforming and changing and that there are people out there exploring new ideas and concepts.
  • “Experts” will continue to claim that the lecture model is still dominant at universities, even if they can’t quote any evidence to back this claim up. I counted up all of the courses I took in college in the early 1990s that were lecture based it came out to be less than half. I have heard from current students that, at least at this college, that number has gone way down even since then.
  • Several new LMS options will be labeled “Blackboard killers.” But none will make a dent because labeling any tech a “killer” usually dooms its existence.
  • Even more “experts” will claim that colleges are now irrelevant, despite the numerous studies showing that everyone from employers to future students still think they are highly relevant and necessary. Who needs facts and figures when you just want to grind an ax with a society that won’t pay English majors a seven figure salary right after graduation?
  • Despite overwhelming evidence of the educational value of hybrid or fully online courses, many organizations will develop a case of amnesia and claim there isn’t any evidence. I’m looking at you, Idaho.
  • All of us will suddenly remember that we haven’t logged in to Second Life in over a year and then collectedly feel guilty for letting such a great tool slip away.
  • The American people will get so tired of hearing about new technology lawsuits every day that they will write really extra terse Tweets about the big companies. But of course not do anything to stop the insanity of this whole patent lawsuit mess. Really Google, Apple, Motorolla, and others… its getting old.

EduGeeks Comics Part 4

I Am The Gate Keeper Of The Internet!

This video was created by EduGeek Darren.  If you have ever been an instructional designer, you have had this conversation before.

I think my university needs to enact this Internet membership fee thing, also….

EduGeeks The Comic Part 3

Created at Make Beliefs Comix

EduGeeks The Comic Part 2

Created at Make Beliefs Comix

EduGeeks the Comic Part 1

Click on the image to see the bigger version. Next week we meet Jim the EduPunk.

Created at Make Beliefs Comix

Digital Natives Have Nothing on Gen X

Digital Natives are better at multitasking than older generations? Please.  My generation (Gen X) practically perfected multi-tasking.  Let’s take a look back to the 80s for a second:

  • Our multitasking was in the form of listening to a Walkman while sitting in front of the TV and doing homework – none of which were made for multitasking. So you can do_______ and ______ and _________ with a computer and iPhone and all that. Yawn. Computers and iPhones and all that are practically designed for multi-tasking. Next I guess you want a cookie for learning to drive a car on a road.
  • Social networking happened online back then too – it was just over a telephone party line instead of an Internet line.
  • We always had to have a phone with us back then, too – but for us it meant a pocket full of quarters to hit every available pay phone there was. Which was hard to do in public because of the crowds of teenagers standing around them.
  • Texting happened all the time in the 80s. Back then, it was done with a piece of paper (we probably went through a tree a day sending short pointless messages back and forth).
  • In fact, we pretty much did everything you can now do on a cell phone just using a pencil and piece of paper.
  • Twitter? Please. We could get short updates about life to an entire school in the span of two class periods just using paper and no electricity. And that still worked even if your cell battery went dead.
  • Writing on FaceBook walls? Too temporary for us. We had this thing called a bathroom wall. Much more interesting and permanent. Well, at least until the school budget allowed for a new can of paint.

Still think I am wrong? Still convinced that digital natives are totally different than older generations? Then here you go: a recent report from Forrester has been tearing down a few stereotypes about the so-called “digital natives.” Turns out, they aren’t necessarily as different from past generations as some would make them seem:

The results, published this month, portray a generation that, in some ways, is more traditional than some media executives might fear. And it seems that Morgan Stanley’s intern, Matthew Robson, is out of sync with the mainstream of European teenagers in a few of his media preferences.

Who is Matthew Robson? Well, he is 15-year old intern for Morgan Stanley that created a stir recently by publishing a report that some said proved the stereotypes about digital natives are true.  Like, for example, digital natives watch less traditional television because they are watching online video sites like YouTube.  Not true, according to actual research: they still spend more time watching television than they spend online.  Wow – what a novel concept. Research people’s statements, rather than take them as Gospel truth.

And this statement is really going to rock your boat if you blindly listen to the Marc Prensky‘s of the world:

Instead, wrote Nick Thomas, an analyst at Forrester, “real-world social interaction with friends remains important for online teens.”

Of course, none of this is any surprise to those of us that know any real teenagers.

You can read the New York Times summary of this story here.

I’ve told this story before, but this report reminds me of the time I went up to actual teenager and told them that I heard that “email is for old people.”  That person’s response? “What idiot said that? I hate it when people my age just say stupid things to get attention, and then old people run with it like it is the truth or something.”

It is about time that someone did some actual research.

In Honor of Katrina and Shaun

Katrina and Shaun have made the trek to dangerous country this week: BbWorld 2009! They have sent back the following video report of the event:

Shocking and entertaining all at the same time! Remember you two – don’t drink the Kool-Aid!